How to Choose. Chapter 1.

Trivia time!
Ranunculus, saponaria, hydrangea, peonies, dahlias, alstroemeria, ornithogalum, phlox, tuberose and zinnia are different kinds of:
a. geological eras
b. sexually transmitted diseases
c. flowers
d. sexual terms
e. none of the above

The correct answer is: (c) flowers. If you got that correct, then you must be a woman.

Welcome to the first installment of “how to choose”, where we touch upon how to choose the item, things she may be saying, and what us grooms are really thinking.

Today’s how to choose subject is how to choose flowers. Yes! We start this off with an enthusiastic bang! That’s what she said.

She may be asking you what kind of flowers you would like for the wedding, or if this ranunculus is cuter than that calla lilly. Your correct answer should be: “sure” or “yes”. Really men, who cares?! A flower is a flower is a flower. What we’re thinking about while they ask us about bouquets or flowers for the tuxes runs more along the lines of “is my team winning the game?” “I think I got this booger in my nose that needs picking, should I pick it here or in the restroom?” “What did I get myself into?” Oh what? You need my opinion on an orchid? They’re cool. It looks great!

Fight the good fight or defer?

Definitely, definitely, definitely defer. Really, who cares? Flowers are colorful and they smell good and all that. They may even cause you to cry… due to allergies. No need to get into the details. Save yourself the hour meeting, let her pick whatever she wants, and watch your game or tv show, or do your favorite activity.

So when you hear: [term of endearment], what do you think of these snapdragons? You should say: They’re cool, they look great!

See men? It’s that easy. DONE! Now go reward yourself with that ice cold brew for all of the hard work you provided for this.

Good Reading$

Stop the fantasies and romantic bs for a minute. Pause the slow motion scene of your significant other, beaming, walking through the door towards you.

Money does matter.

There, I said it. If it does not matter, then why do couples fight over it and even divorce over this concept of money? Have you had the talks yet over this? If not, do it now. Do it before you get married. It may be tough, but it is better to cut your losses now then later. Read up…

From The Motley Fool:
Newlywed Financial Boot Camp

Joint vs. Separate Accounts

How-to Guide: Manage Money With Your Mate

From Kiplinger:
Ten Questions to Ask Before Saying ‘I Do’

Prenuptial Agreements

Marriage and Money

That is a good start for now. I will post more down the line as I come across them.

Ok, now unpause your scene and go enjoy your relationship. But make sure to have these tough talks.

Sunday, Monday Wedding Days. Tuesday, Wednesday Wedding Days. Thursday, Friday Break Days. Saturday What a Day to Take Another Break With You

Let’s do an exercise. Close your eyes… wait open them back up to read this.

Think back to when you were five years old, in kindergarten. It’s a sunny day outside. After eating lunch out of your Transformers or My Little Pony lunch pail and playing on the monkey bars or sand box outside, the fun gets interrupted when the bell rings to go back into the classroom. Dreading the schoolwork to come, the teacher surprises the class and tells all of you to lie down. And close your eyes. Why? It’s nap time. Quiet time…

Now open your eyes to the present. What was so great about the quiet time then that can be applied now? If you’re thinking: the fact that we need quiet time from all of the wedding planning, then you are correct!

Ladies! You know we love you, but you have to give us men a break from the wedding talk. The thoughts of the wedding and its planning do not run through our minds constantly. Set days to talk about the wedding planning, and set quiet days and/or times where absolutely no wedding talk goes on. You’ll give your man the refreshing break his ears need.

That’s not to say we’re not listening or don’t care. We do. We just don’t think about it 24/7 like you do. It’s more like 30 min/4.

[in the living room during quiet wedding time]
Groom to be: [watching the football game on TV]
Bride to be: Hi (insert your term of endearment)! How are you? Watcha doooin?
Groom to be: [still watching the game]. Good. Thanks.
Bride to be: Who’s winning the game? Ohhh the Pirates? Coool!
Groom to be: Uhhh, the Raiders.
Bride to be: Ahh ok. I’m hungry, what do you want for dinner? I chose the reception spot today without you. Oooh let’s go eat pasta!
Groom to be: [stops watching the game] What the (insert your favorite word)?

Yes, we hear every word.